Everything
by writersword
Summary: He could have anything he wanted. She was the only one he needed. The only one he couldn’t have. Secrets. Broken promises. Old friends. Lost possibilities. Bone-deep, gut twisting crushes. And maybe, a little mixed up thing called love. ReidOC.
1. Prologue

**Author's Note: New story, this one is one I've been looking forward to writing. It's Reid/OC and I have spent a great deal of time on this girl, creating her character, and I'm very happy with the out come. I have most of this story outlined, and a couple of chapter already written. This is the prologue, I hope you enjoy it. Thanks, I love you guys.**

**Disclaimer: I do not own the Covenant or its characters.**

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Prologue

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"_Do you remember when we didn't care?_

_We were just two kids that took the moment when it was there,_

_Do you remember you at all?"_

—All-American Rejects, "Another Heart Calls"

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He couldn't remember the first time he'd seen her, it was farther back then his memory went, but in all his memories of his childhood, she was there. A constant, just like his brothers. Her name was Millie, shortened from Mildred, which in her opinion was the worst name known to man. Sometimes he would call her that, just to get under her skin and drive her crazy, it was his specialty. He knew her so well back then, he could remember how she laughed, how she used to have freckles across her nose, how her mother would look disapprovingly down at them when she would return with a dirty dress or a scraped knee from their hours of playing in the yard behind whatever mansion the 'play date' was at that day. It was just the way things were. Until it stopped.

He didn't know what had changed, or, at least, he didn't want to admit it to himself, but one day she just quit talking to him, quit answering the phone when he called, quit being his friend, or whatever they were that week, sometimes it was hard for him to keep track. They had been freshmen at Spenser, halfway into the year, but already everyone knew them. They were the Sons of Ipswich after all and with a name like Garwin people talked. They talked more than they should and assumed things they shouldn't. In Ipswich, a connection to one of the _Sons_ was nearly as good as being one, you were instantly loved and coveted and hated to an extent it was insane. Apparently this hadn't been enough for Millie, who had suddenly become some kind of social climber, and started dating a senior from the soccer team, (even though she had never officially broken up with _him_) and hanging out with Kira. Two months ago she had hated Kira Snyder and all her friends. Of course, two months ago he had been allowed to hold her hand.

Reid had felt abandoned, thrown aside when something better came along. They'd spent the whole summer together planning their lives as "high school students" as if this was some kind of big accomplishment, living this far. They would lay on his bed for hours and watch stupid movies and talk about how middle school was over, finally. They were leaving all that stupid little-kid drama behind, little did they know they were trading it in for something more complicated, that was over their heads. They didn't know how that first half of the year would be something wild and unexpected and so incredibly…_naughty_.

There was no way they could have known what they were getting themselves into. It wasn't really their fault that they dove in headfirst, no one ever warned them of what might, no, what _would_ happen if they weren't careful. Maybe if things had been different, they weren't so daring, their parents cared a little more, maybe if someone had come along told one of the millions of horror stories that were part of the package of the life they were about to collide with, maybe, they wouldn't have lost the people they'd always been, maybe they wouldn't have lost everything they ever loved. Maybe.

By that time the other guys had already drifted away from Millie so they didn't take her departure quite as hard as the blonde, who felt like she had taken his heart, stepped on it, and then tried to put it in backwards. He loved her, he knew he did, but he was only fifteen. He couldn't know what love was yet. That's what everyone told him. But in his mind, what he felt for her was the real deal. That real love they always talked about in books and movies, when you fall head over heels and nothing else matters. The feeling scared him. He couldn't really be in love so young? No, it wasn't possible. But sometimes when he would think about her his heart would pound double-time and make him feel breathless, and to him, that sounded very similar to what they said love felt like.

By the beginning of their sophomore year she was exactly where she wanted to be, top of the list, most popular, best friends with Kira. She had dumped the last guy for the newer model. When she walked down the hall everyone would stare; she was so beautiful, so perfect. But Reid could see the change, he could see that something was wrong, she wasn't happy like she'd thought she'd be.

It all really came down to Kira's sweet sixteen party. Everyone was there, weather they were invited or not, the Sons falling under the 'not' category thanks to their from-the-dawn-of-time battle against Aaron Abbot and his crew, and Kira was dating Brody at the time, who was tight with Aaron. This put Millie and Reid on different sides of the line, in different spectrums as far as social laws were concerned.

Millie and Kira were showing off their tans from the time they'd spent in the Hamptons that summer. Their dresses were so short Reid could just almost see the scar on Millie's thigh that she'd gotten climbing trees in his backyard when they were eleven. He could usually only see it when she wore a swim suit. He wanted to talk to her, just one conversation. He wouldn't tell her how he really felt, or what he thought of her ignoring him. No, things like that didn't need to be spoken.

He just wanted to tell her how beautiful she looked, even though she was way too skinny, he wanted to say that he missed her. He missed how crazy they had been last year and for their entire lives before that, he missed how she could instantly calm him by simply running her fingers through his hair, he missed how she could take one look at him and know exactly what he was thinking about. But what he really missed the most was that smile, the one reserved just for him that meant everything and nothing and was pretty much the best thing he'd ever woken up to.

When he saw her go up the stairs, he knew it was his only chance. He followed her out to a balcony and watched from the doorway as she stood in the moonlight. She was too beautiful to disturb. She gripped the railing tightly, her hands far apart. Her shoulders were shaking, he realized. She was crying.

"You okay?" He said, making himself known. She turned to face him quickly. He had scared her.

"Reid." She said it strangely, not like his name used to fall from her mouth. She said it with a bit of nervousness that someone would see her talking to one of the forbidden Sons of Ipswich, she said it with an annoyed tone. She said it like a curse. It hurt like hell, twisting the knife she had plunged in his scared heart. He turned to leave not wanting to deal with the pain she caused him any longer. He had pined after her too long, lost too much of his life to her.

"Reid, please." She was pleading, for what he didn't know, but her voice, so enchanting so wonderful, and now so desperate. He turned around, her shape a silhouette with the moon shining brightly behind her, she was so beautiful. He forgot how to breathe for a moment and the world stopped spinning. She was all he could see and every memory of them together flashed through his mind. In trees as kids. At school. In his pool with her in that tiny swimsuit. And then that one last scene, from last year, when she had pressed her lips to his and the fire had begun to engulf him.

She crossed her arms, hugging herself against the bitter Ipswich wind and turned her head away from him because she knew if she looked into his eyes again the space between them would cease to exist.

"I'm sorry." She didn't say it in the off-handed way people usually said it. He could feel the meaning behind her words. But they both knew the rules and no matter how sorry she was, they were different now. Her words didn't change anything.

"Me too." Reid answered and then turned and left because he couldn't stand there any longer and look at what he could never have. Downstairs, after raiding the Snyder's liquor cabinet, he found something a little stronger, something that made him feel numb and dizzy and not a good drunk by any means, but it made his heart hurt a little less. What pain the alcohol didn't take away, was driven out by Mercedes Wilder, a senior, in the back seat of her Porsche.

And so it began. Him with his one nighters and her with a new, classy lifestyle where he didn't register on the radar. At all. He drank and had sex that could never be described as "making love" because he didn't even know most of their names. She smiled and showed the world her perfect self when she really cried herself to sleep at night. Reputations grew fast at Spenser and by the end of sophomore year, theirs were so vastly different, on such different levels, that it would be unheard of for their lives to ever cross again. So they didn't. It was forgotten that they'd ever been friends. Or anything else.

Everyone left for the summer, off to the Hamptons, or Europe, or where ever their family vacationed. Some of them back to their not so great lives in not-so-great houses where they actually studied to maintain the scholarship they had worked so hard to earn. Everyone forgot about drama and social statuses and had fun that wasn't allowed during the school year. But come September the uniforms were again donned, the halls again full, and classes began again in a routine that was already old by the end of the first day.

It didn't take long for everyone to realize that their queen bee, their royal leader, had not returned to Spenser Academy. And everyone soon learned what Reid Garwin already knew. Millie, his Millie, was gone.

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**Thanks for reading, please review, I would love to know your opinions! **


	2. Chapter 1

**A/N: Thank to all my amazing reviewers! I'm so excited about the reaction this story is getting. Mucho gracias to my lovely editor, me love you!**

**Disclaimer: The extreme hotness of the Covenant boys does not belong to me. I do own Millie and if you steal her you will have to face my wrath, which is unpleasant, or so I'm told. **

**Enjoy. **

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Chapter 1

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"_And sometimes I get nervous_

_When I see an open door_

_Close your eyes _

_Clear your heart_

_Cut the cord"_

—The Killers, _"Human"_

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Senior year, fall

Nicky's was packed as it usually was on any weekend night in Ipswich between September and June, but that night it was particularly full, thanks to a group of public school kids from the next town over stopping by for a taste of life at Spenser Academy. All the girls were barley covered in short skirts that screamed discount store, hair that they had almost obviously died themselves in their bathroom sinks, and, in the small space where skin showed between their shirts and their skirts, small tattoos were revealed on almost every girl's back, like a flashing neon sign reading only one word: easy.

That night was any womanizer dream come true, but Reid Garwin only had eyes for one girl. She didn't wear low cut shirts or short skirts, in fact her style was very tasteful and, dare he say it, classy. Her long dark hair wasn't dry and brittle form being bleached and under conditioned, it flowed over her shoulders in a way that almost seemed to tease him.

He had known her forever, but he never was any less mesmerized by her beauty, her grace, her absolute immunity to him, and the strange rule she held over him. She would always smile at him sadly in a way that seemed to say 'been there, done that', when it was widely known that she'd never actually gone there at all. Or at least that was what she told everyone, and unlike with most girls, Reid was willing to let the truth be their little secret. But nevertheless, she still treated him the way she treated so many that filled the halls of their prestigious prep school: a check mark on her social-climbing list to fame. Well, not fame, really, but popularity, which, in a sense, is fame of its own right.

It was not a huge accomplishment in a class of only three hundred students, but it was her goal and it had been fore a while, ever since she'd returned from California at the end of last year, all tan and seemingly chill while she really had a plan to stomp down every social wall ever built and create more trouble than anyone had ever seen. But Reid liked a girl with a little determination. Okay, so he liked pretty much any girl, but this girl…she was _different_. She had always been different. She had always caught his eye, even in the most crowded of rooms. She had always held a fascination to him that he'd never understood. He would never grow tired of the game of cat and mouse between them, no matter how hopeless she made it seem.

She was Millie Townsend, and Reid Garwin was undeniably in love with her. He'd just forgotten what love felt like, or maybe he was too used to the constant game to notice it was over.

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Age twelve, summer

_It was wet. That was the only way to describe the scene, wet. Dark clouds poured rain down onto the soaked earth that had turned muddy because the sky had yet to make a ceasefire with the world, even after three days of almost constant downpour. Reid Garwin thought about the rain, because his mother used to say that bringing up the weather in a conversation was a good way to stay off a certain topic, he hoped it would work in his brain too. _

_He was only twelve, almost thirteen, Caleb had already had his birthday and received his taste of the almighty Power his father had always told him about, warned him about. But now the man who had promised to always be there to help him with his powers, wouldn't be around to fulfill what he'd sworn to. _

_No. Weather. Think about the weather. His plan wasn't working because every thought made him think of where he was and what was happening and it all hurt more than he wanted it to. He ran his hands through his hair, which was strangely greasy and he suddenly remembered that he had forgotten to shower that morning. He wished more than anything that all these people would just leave him alone because the last thing he wanted was to be told 'how sorry' they all were._

_He pushed anyway from the coolness of the window he was leaning on, intent on making it upstairs to his room before his mother found him or someone tried to talk to him. He had yet to say a word since Pogue's dad had pulled him away from his father's still body. He'd been screaming and cursing then and his throat still hurt from it. But now he felt trapped inside his brain and nothing made since and he was sure the world was ending because this could not be happening. His father could not be dead._

_Caleb saw his escape attempt and thought to catch him on the stairs but it was still during that time when Caleb wanted to be more than he was, wanted to take control and be the leader everyone wanted him to be. He was still too young, too scared, too lost in everything that was happening. He didn't know what to say to his grieving friend, but he knew that he couldn't let him just walk up those stairs, away from all of this. He knew this was something Reid was going to have to deal with, because if he didn't Caleb didn't know what the after side of this would look like. And he needed the future to look brighter than the present; it was the only way to deal with this kind of thing. _

_The eldest Son of Ipswich took two steps after the blonde before the freshly manicured hand of Millie Townsend closed around his arm. She was gorgeous in her plain black dress because she was gorgeous in everything. She smiled at him lightly, her voice low as she spoke._

"_I'll handle it." She told him hurriedly before following Reid upstairs. She caught up with him and took hold of his skinny arm, the way she had with Caleb, and leaned close to his ear to whisper. He nodded and she didn't let go of his arm as she led him down the hall to his room where he would spend one more year before moving to the dorms at Spenser and beginning high school. That's what he kept thinking about whenever he would glance at his grief-stricken mother. 'Just one more year in this house and you're free'. _

_Millie sat him down on his bed and proceeded to remove his shoes, jacket, and tie for him. He watched her hands move, the actions were so…maternal but so comforting. His grey-blue eyes were empty as they met hers. She ran her smooth hand through his hair, the way she always did, and breathing was the easiest it had been since his father's eyes turned foggy. She kissed his check and then, so softly, in his ear, another whisper. He expected a generic wish of 'everything's going to be fine' that he'd been getting from everyone the past couple of days. He should have known his Millie better, he should have known she could never be described as 'generic'._

"_We're meant to be, me and you. One day we'll see it. There's no way around it." And when their eyes met again, both sets were far from empty. He didn't say anything because he wasn't ready for words yet. He watched as she smiled at him with that mischievous glint taking over her dark chocolate gaze and perfect white teeth biting at her bottom lip. She had a plan._

_They changed from their funeral wear to his jeans and t-shirts. She was happy they were both still skinny kids or she would've had to wear her dress to crawl out of his window to the tree that had forever been their passage to the world outside, where so many things seemed possible._

_In a flash of lightning, they were gone and running down the hill along the gravel path that acted as his driveway. Smiling and laughing and causing trouble and being them in their purest form. Running away and dealing with the dead body in the ground at the same time. _

_Caleb watched them leave from a first-floor window in the Garwin mansion, his mind reeling. He didn't know Millie, they hadn't been close since they were little kids, but she knew Reid on a level no one else did and if this was what she thought he needed, then he trusted her. He knew Reid would be okay, as long as he had Millie._

_

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**Reviews are like the donut I just ate a few minutes ago. No they're not. They are nothing like that donut. Truthfully, I just wanted to rub it in everyone's faces that my grandma made me some donuts and they rock cause she's awesome like that. But you should review anyway! **


	3. Chapter 2

Everything Chapter 2

**Author's note: **

**EDIT: I made an error in the last chapter that I have now fixed. The season on the flashback was meant to be 'fall' instead of 'summer', I don't know how I messed that up. Sorry guys.**

**This entire chapter is a flashback, it was the original inspiration for the story. The song "Sometime Around Midnight" by The Airborne Toxic Event is what this chapter is based on. Listen to it as you read if you like, it sets the mood well. **

**Enjoy.**

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Chapter 2

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"_And you feel hopeless and homeless_

_And lost in the haze of the wine."_

—The Airborne Toxic Event, _"Sometime Around Midnight"_

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Junior year, May

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"_Dude, you are so whipped!" Reid threw an arm around Pogue's neck to hold himself up. He felt a little more tipsy than he'd planned to be, he could hear the slur in his words and every so often the world would tilt, blur and then go back to normal. The couple he'd interrupted sat at a secluded table while everyone else stood around the bar having a good time. Reid thought that Pogue should get to join in the fun but he just sat there with his girlfriend who he swore that he "loved". Whatever that meant. Kate sent him a glare for his last statement and picked up Pogue's coke for a dainty sip. The blonde Son scowled at her hatefully and downed the rest of his beer, tilting his head back to get the last drop. A hand clasped the neck of the now empty bottle and pulled it from his grip._

"_You've had enough." Caleb, of course. Reid mocked him, waving his hands around drunkenly. Pogue stood from his chair and bent over to kiss Kate goodnight, whispering something in her ear that made her smile and kiss him again. Reid thought it was disgusting._

_He turned around to head back to the bar, he was focused on getting another drink, getting one step closer to not feeling anything. He was completely clueless to how his world was about to change drastically. It was her. Her hair was longer, skin tanner, she sat at the bar sipping a martini with an relaxed confidence that you could only get from spending a year in southern California as she had. She was back. Millie was back. He couldn't remember how to breathe as he watch her take the toothpick holding the olive and slide it off with teeth, her nose crinkling as she chewed the small green accent food._

_Tyler was pulling on his arm, telling him they were leaving but he shoved the younger boy away as he tried to make his way through the crowd to her. Heads were starting to turn to him as if he was making a scene, was he screaming? He couldn't tell. Tyler, then Pogue, finally Caleb, pulling at his arms, taking him away from her, the only source of light, of air. Why couldn't he go to her? _

_And then she got up, her white sundress fluttering around her muscular thighs. She had a small quirk of a smile that taunted him as she made her way through the crowd, her magical grace letting her barley touch anyone. He watched and didn't realize she was coming right at him until she was there and he was watching her lips as they moved. He wanted to kiss her so bad._

"_Reid, how are you?" Her eyes didn't meet his and her smile didn't grow to a full one the way he longed for it to. She smelled so good, like salty beach air and lightest hint of flowers. He wanted to touch her so bad, he wished he was a freshman again because it was the best year of his life._

_He must have answered her, he didn't remember, she nodded at him and the guys behind him, still pulling at his arms. She walked away, leaving him again and it hurt like hell, because it always did and it was nothing new. The open wound took an extra stab as he watched her walk away, back to her date that he didn't know and then, she left with him, glancing back at Reid, her eyes boring right through him until he was sure they would burn a hole in his chest, before she slipped out the door._

_And that was when Reid Garwin realized that she was gone from his reach, the only thing in life he really wanted, missed, was rejecting him. Pain filled his body as he ran after her, drunkenly stumbling over his feet. Caleb, Tyler, and Pogue still after him, trying to get him under control, but he was so far past that. By the time he was outside she was gone, the car disappearing around the corner and he couldn't see her, but he had to so he kept running, his lungs screaming because of bruised ribs from an especially nasty fight with Aaron Abbott a few days before. It didn't take long for the hopelessness to reach his mind and that's when he collapsed, falling down hard on his knees._

_It hurt to watch her leave him. It hurt a lot more than he'd thought possible. His mind drifted to his father's death and how he'd used her to fill the cracks of his shattered heart and how without her there in almost a year since she left, and nearly a year before that when he didn't deserve her anymore, he'd learned how to act numb, but seeing her, here, so close. He was raw again, and he wasn't exactly sure what to do. He knew soon the guys would catch up to him and he'd have to pretend to be okay, because that's what Garwin men do, but right in that moment he was far from okay and everything boiled over. _

_He couldn't have held in the scream that escaped him if he'd tried, not that he had. It ripped through his throat and cracked open the humid, late spring night air. He screamed until Pogue, out of breath from running, grabbed him, pulling him to his feet, shoving his mouth closed and throwing his, worn-out leather jacket over his shoulders. It's only then Reid noticed the rain, how it was coming down in thick sheets and that he could barley see or hear anything but let himself be guided back to the Hummer, even thought he hadn't been sure he could walk._

_The next morning he woke up to a splitting headache and million worried glances from Tyler. He didn't remember much from the night before, except that smile she had shown the world and him as well which meant that he didn't get his own anymore, to her he was just like everybody else. Maybe it was the fact that she didn't love him anymore that hurt him more than anything. That, or maybe it was that he still loved her and he'd thought he'd been over that for a long, long time._

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**Review darlings, it will make me love you!**


	4. Chapter 3

**A/N: This chapter is a little insight to Millie because I was getting some comments that she was too cold. So here is more of her story. I might be doing a great deal of much-needed updating this week, I'm on spring break from school with nothing to do but write, so you guys are in for a treat. Sorry for the long wait.**

**Disclaimer: Nope.**

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Chapter 3

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"_Some things we don't talk about_

_better do without_

_Just hold a smile_

_We're falling in and out of love_

_The same damn problem"_

—The Fray, _"Never Say Never"_

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Freshman year, age 15, winter

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_Millie felt like she was suffocating. Even after 3 hours and a hot shower, the air, her skin, even her sheets smelled like him. His voice was all around her, no matter how loud her stereo sang. She could still feel her skin burning where his lips had touched, the feeling lingering on her ear, where he'd pressed his mouth and whispered like he had so many times before, "I love you, my Millie."_

_She wanted to scream. Rip her hair. Claw her eyes out. Run. Run as fast as she could to a place where there was no such thing as love or Reid Garwin for miles around. She was only fifteen, they had only really been "dating" officially for five months and she already couldn't take it. Her feeling for Reid had scared ever since she'd discovered them that summer. It wasn't a crush or puppy love, like their parents kept saying. It was love. Real love. And passion. She was only a freshman at Spenser Academy and she already had a Son of Ipswich, who was not only amazingly hot, but also her best friend. The love of her life._

_And as great as all of that was, she wasn't ready for it. High school isn't about soul mates and hers had come along too young and swept her off her feet into a story most girls only dream about. That was the worst part, spending every moment wondering when she was going to wake up and find that none of it was real. _

_She couldn't do this anymore. She could go through her life as Reid Garwin's girlfriend. She needed to find out who she was. Even if it meant loosing everything she knew about herself by staying away from the one boy that meant everything to her. Even if it meant breaking his heart._

_

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_

_The knock on the door of her dorm was loud, especially in the dark silence of three in the morning. She was frightened at first, sitting straight up in her bed, and holding the sheets against her. It came again; three loud bangs against her door, proving that it hadn't been a dream, and then his voice, too loud for an empty hallway in the middle of the night._

"_Millie, please. Open the door." He begged her. She should've known she couldn't just ignore him. She should have known he'd right there, chasing after her with those piercing blue eyes. _

_Slipping out of bed, she pulled on her robe and padded across the room, dreading opening the door. He was still dressed in jeans and a t-shirt, a thick hoodie on top. His hair was disheveled and his eyes were bloodshot, he smelled like Nicky's and she instantly knew he was drunk. _

"_Millie." What she had thought at first was distortion created by the door, was a definite slur in his words as he walked into her room without and invitation. He stumbled over to the bed, falling on it face first. "Oh Millie, I miss you so much."_

_He was nearly yelling at her, his voice rough with what she was praying to God wasn't tears and even though she closed the door, she was sure most of the floor could hear him; the walls at Spenser were paper-thin. She turned on her desk lamp so she could see him._

"_What happened?" He sat up, his eyes sparkling in the light, tears threatening to escape._

"_Reid you have to be quiet." She whispered, going over to the bed and sitting next to him. It pained her to see him like this, so sad and pitiful in his lonely, drunken world. He crawled over to her, his head falling to her lap. He looked up at her, one lone tear rolling down his pale cheek. She wiped it away with her thumb and kissed his forehead._

"_Why don't you love me anymore? What did I do wrong?" His voice was broken_

"_Shh," She quieted him, "It's okay now. Just go to sleep." _

_The next morning found them in each other's arms. Millie knew how easy it would be to just stay like this forever, to always be his and nothing more. It would be nothing to slip back in the old ways._

_His eyes slowly peeled opened, wincing against the light pouring in from the window. He blinked at her, once, twice, his mind spinning through the last few weeks the way he suddenly hadn't existed to her anymore, the way none of it had an explanation. The expression he showed her held the weight of all things that had been left unspoken._

"_Change of heart?" His voice sounded rough to his ears. _

_He truthfully didn't have any hope that she had changed her decision to leave him in the dust of wherever she thought she was going. The short, tearful shake of her head was expected, but somehow still hurt just as much. He kissed her cheek softly and slipped off her bed, headed fro the door._

"_Reid?" He loved the way she said his name. He turned back to her, one foot in her room, one in the hallway. She opened her mouth, closed it, wiped away the tears that pooled from her eyes and then said it. "I could've really loved you."_

_He pressed his lips together, willing himself not to run over to her and force her to take him back, to let the Power rush over him and take the both of them over. He wanted to say something, maybe tell her that he would love her for the rest of her life and there was nothing se could do about it, maybe he wanted to tell her what a bitch he thought she was for doing this. But instead, he nodded once and slipped out the door, jogging down the stairs and hitting the double doors on the base level at a sprint. He was barley across the parking lot, just inside the cover of the trees behind Spenser, before his eyes flashed black as night._

* * *

Freshman year, age 15, spring

* * *

_The bathroom floor was cold beneath her bare legs. Her dark hair was a mess, a stringy, sweaty wreck of half curls. She could barley breathe through the sobs that racked her thin body, as skinny arms encircled equally as skinny legs._

"_You are a disgrace to this family!" Her mother's voice rang coldly in her ears. "I raised you to be a young lady and instead you're out there at parties and with God-knows-whom till God-knows-when. Your grandmother would be horrified at what I've let you become."_

"_Millie, really, you're going to eat that? I mean, with all those calories, your dress for Prom probably won't fit anymore. We both know it's already a tight squeeze." Kira's snobby voice was next, she could see her saying the words, nose scrunched up in disgust._

_And then the worst, more horrible than her mother scolding, more demeaning than Kira's bitchy self, Reid. Her best friend, the boy she had once thought maybe, just maybe she loved, the boy she given herself to completely over the summer, the boy she had abandoned, it was that thought that made her sob harder, the look in his pale blue eyes when he had sat next to where she had fallen against the lockers, her legs folded under her. _

_They hadn't spoken in months and he looked as if hadn't slept in twice as long. His uniform was wrinkled and dirty, his voice weaker than she ever remembered it being. She expected questions about why she had left him, about the senior, Carl, who she was currently dating, but he hadn't said any of those things. He had looked her up and down a few times, no doubt noticing how all the pieces were too large for her newly bone-thin body, and then, licking his lips, said the one thing no one else dared to. _

"_What are you doing to yourself, Millie?"_

_At the time she had been angry, standing quickly and telling him it was none of his business, she didn't belong to him, purposely drawing a crowd. It was the first time she'd ever made a scene, to show people she wasn't with him, not anymore, not ever. It hurt her, but she couldn't have him looking at her like that, asking her those questions, knowing all her secrets, and her knowing his. They were too close, always had been._

_She pulled her legs closer to her flat chest, she'd always been small up top, but recently she'd noticed that her a-cup bra was too large and had dug out the old training bra her mother had bought her when she was twelve, but she barley needed that anymore. Just another thing for her mother, Kira, the whole world, to see, to make fun of. It hurt, all of it hurt so much and she couldn't stand it. The words of all the judgmental people that filled her life swirled around her head until she did what she told herself every time she would never so again. She pulled herself up onto her knees and leaned over the toilet, putting two fingers down her throat until her dinner came back up. _

_She couldn't look at her face in the mirror anymore because she had to keep up her façade, she couldn't let the world know who she was, she couldn't be herself, she couldn't be Reid's Millie, instead forcing herself to the bitch she'd always hated. The girl she'd always promised herself she'd never be. _

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	5. Chapter 4

**A/N: I'm sorry everyone, I posted the wrong chapter last night, thanks to "xxkpxx" or I wouldn't have noticed. **

**P.S.: If anyone would like to help me out, I have writer's block on both "Invincible" and "Sober" because I have lost inspiration. If you want to see those stories finished, let me know.**

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**Disclaimer (I only put these on here for you, Emmie): Thou no owneth de la Covenant. **

Chapter 4

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"_You sit and you stare and you wait and you wonder_

_You think "Maybe it's me and I'm being a fool."_

_You start to believe it's a curse that you're under_

_And you're just a doll for a girl who is cruel_

_With a pin."_

—Ben's Brother, _"Let Me Out"_

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Senior year, winter

* * *

She was skinny, her hipbones and ribs sticking out of her skin in odd ways. Her smooth, straight black hair was a mess, sticking to the sweat on her face, and his. She was one of the few Asian Americans at Spenser, he knew that, and she was taller than what he stereotyped Asians to be, nearly as tall as him. Of course he knew she was hot, he had known that before he'd asked her to skip class with him, before he'd pressed his lips against her plump ones, before he'd unbuttoned her shirt.

He knew a great deal about he girl that he was currently sharing the janitor's closet with, whose hands pulled at his hair, whose mouth his lips were attached to, but he didn't know her name, and a lot of him wanted to keep it that way. It just made things simpler.

The light split them apart as the door opened. They each pressed themselves against the opposite walls to make it possible for the janitor to come into the small room, nodding his head at Reid in a form of 'hello', they'd met this way many times. Light poured in from the hallway so he could look at her for the first time since he closed the door and press her against it.

She was beautiful. He loved how she didn't try to straighten her clothes out of modesty, her dark eyes stared across the small space heatedly and he couldn't help it, he smirked at her with his ever-present cockiness. As soon as the dark covered them again, she threw herself at him, long, thin legs wrapping themselves around his back.

* * *

Age thirteen, May

* * *

_His parents were in Tokyo, maybe Hong Kong, something to do with Asia, and left him in the care of "the help", but they went home at night and ignored him during the day, so he was a free man. As soon as the clock struck midnight, she was at his window, standing in the tree, sneaker-clad foot banging against the glass. She smiled at him in his favorite way._

"_Hey sexy," She had gotten accustomed to calling him that, because they were only thirteen and it almost felt like saying a curse, which felt really bad and Millie loved to be bad. They were halfway down the driveway when she announced that they would not be walking to the park that night. Then he saw it sitting at the gates to the mansion. A Vespa. _

"_What's this?" He laughed as they came to where it stood. Millie walked over to the motor scooter and let one of her hands glide down its smooth surface. _

"_A we're-sorry-we're-never-in-the-country present from good ol' Mom and Dad. Don't you just love our parents?" She looked up from the shiny blue paint to look at him. "So are we taking a ride on this thing or what?" She leaned against her new bike and smirked at her best friend._

"_Hell yeah." Reid said because he also loved the feeling of doing something wrong. But then reality stepped in. "Don't you need a license?"_

_Millie sighed, smirking a little more and rolling her eyes. "Only if you want to obey all the laws." She folded her arms behind her in a position that made the latest additions to her newly teenage chest stick out, just a little. It was nearly the end of the school year, the last year of middle school, and everyone, including herself, had suddenly realized that she wasn't a little girl anymore. She knew how to be get Reid, or any boy for that matter, to do what ever she wanted._

"_Can I drive?" He raised a blonde eyebrow at her, that cocky smirk he had recently started using appearing on his pretty face._

_They were racing down the old roads as the Vespa's top speed, which was faster than he'd expected. Her arms were wrapped around him as he drove, the gangly limbs overlapping greatly around his skinny middle. He loved this, he loved being with her, breaking rules and causing trouble, it was what they did best. The park was deserted, as it always was in the middle of the night, and they laid in the grass and looked at the stars. Sometimes they climbed trees, other times they would sneak in to the city pool on the other side of the park and swim in their underwear, but mostly they would lie in the wet grass and tell ghost stories, or secrets, or sometimes they wouldn't say anything at all and it was those times, like this night, that he loved most._

_It was probably nearing one in the morning when she rolled onto her side and smiled at him, he should have known this was combing. She reached over, fast as lightning, and hit him on the arm._

"_You're it!" She was on her feet and halfway up the hill by the time he realized what was even going on. They ran through the entire park like little kids, through the trees and the bike trails and around the tiny, dirty excuse for a pond and up and down and up and down those hills. They chased each other, fueled by adrenaline and youth and the magic of best friends and the power of the middle of the night, until finally, when he didn't know if he could run anymore, Reid tackled her, right at the base of their favorite spot, their favorite tree at the top of the biggest hill._

"_You're it." He said, out of breath, trying his best to smirk even though his chest was on fire. He leaned over her, their chests nearly meeting as they tried to regain a normal breathing pattern. She laughed and took hold of his arms where they rested next to her shoulders and with as much of a push as she could muster from her position, sent them tumbling down the hill. They landed next to each other, limbs tangled together, still breathing hard and now battling laughter. _

_Reid rolled back over her, taking the position they'd had at the top in the hill, but now she had no where to go, no where to look but into his gorgeous eyes. They stayed like that a long time, each staring at the other, wondering what they possibly could be thinking. Neither of them realized that with every breath, every second that passed, they were getting closer and closer, until their lips touched. And in that moment, nothing else mattered, nothing else existed. That moment, that kiss was everything either of them had ever needed, wanted, hoped for, dreamed of. It was perfect. _

* * *

Junior year, age seventeen, spring

* * *

_Mille was surprised to see Tyler when the door to Reid's room swung open. She was more surprised by the way he looked at her like she was the devil. He and the boys had all nodded at her in the hall in way of greeting, there was a certain level of kindness expected since she'd been gone for nearly two years. Sure she'd been a bitch before, and they hadn't exactly been what you'd call close as of recently. But that was over, she was back, and she was ready for things to go back to the way they'd been before she'd gone and screwed it all up. Step one: she needed her partner in crime back._

"_I come in peace." She said dramatically raising her arms in surrender and smiling at the glaring boy._

"_He's not here." She'd never, in all her years of knowing him, seen Tyler Simms angry, it was unnerving. Tyler guessed her intentions to come and win Reid back and wasn't having it, but she was persistent, and somewhat hopeful. She missed Reid and wanted him back in her life more than she was willing to admit._

"_Will you tell him I stopped by?" She dropped the cutesy act and trying not to be offended by the way he treated her._

"_No." He stepped away from the frame and began to close the thick door. "You've done enough damage."_

_Millie clucked her tongue and spun on her heel to head back upstairs, biting the inside of her cheek and all the while reminding herself she deserved that. She deserved that for what she'd done to him._

* * *

Age fifteen, summer

* * *

_Millie was crying, he hated it when girls cried, he never had any idea what to do with them, but she was his Millie, no matter if he had been aloud to have her any in the last year, she would always be his. No faster had the door been opened than he pulled her into his arms, he loved holding her again. The weight on his chest her absence had left was suddenly gone, he had known she'd come back to him. _

_It took her an hour to sob out the words, she was leaving, going to stay with her father in California, get the help she needed in a place no one knew her. He didn't ask what was wrong, he knew, he'd known all along. He had watched her, knowing every curve in her body, every line in her face and he had seen the slow change as she lost pound after pound of her perfect shape and became only skin and bones, but still painfully gorgeous. _

_He walked her home when the tears subsided and she kissed his cheek in thanks, hugged his bony body against hers and whispered in her Millie way, "Take care of yourself, Garwin."_

_He didn't go home, he went to Tyler's, nearly a four mile walk, and told his best friend the story. The brunette was silent through it all, just as he had with all that happened in the past school year, he watched as Reid lost Millie and then slowly lost himself. He thought maybe this could be a good thing, maybe it'll be like out of sight, out of mind and he'll get over her. Maybe he could be Reid again._

"…_and I think when she comes back things can just go back to like they were, y'know?" _

_Every man has his breaking point and Tyler Simms reached his at those words from the blonde Son. Anger swelled up inside him like a sickness, making his hands shake with rage. He stood up, unable to stop himself. "Don't tell me you would take her back." The whisper that escaped his lips surprised him._

_Reid continued, unfazed, "Yeah, I mean, why not?"_

_Tyler shook his head, "You're a dumbass, I-I can't even believe what I'm hearing." The fury finally boiled into his words as his voice got louder._

_Reid was never one to stay calm, he leapt to his feet, "What do you mean? How could I not forgive her, we all make mistakes, Tyler, are you not willing to give her another chance?"_

"_No, I'm not and neither should you. Have you seen yourself lately, really seen yourself? Don't you know what she's done to you?"_

"_You don't know anything." He hissed as he turned to leave. And that's when they lost him. Tyler, Pogue, and Caleb watched in worry and anger as Reid Garwin again and again crossed lines he swore he never would, become the kind of person he'd always hated, and refused to admit any of it. Against Millie's request, he couldn't find it in himself to worry about his own self, and instead found it easier to not think at all._

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	6. Chapter 5

**A/N: Yes, the school year is finally over for little old me, so expect a lot of updates soon!! Enjoy the chap folks!**

**Disclaimer: I no own, you no sue.**

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Chapter 5

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"_You got to spend some time, love_

_You got to spend some time with me_

_And I know that you'll find love_

_I will possess your heart"_

—Death Cab for Cutie, "I Will Possess Your Heart"

* * *

Senior year, winter

* * *

She had returned, but unlike he'd hoped, she didn't come back to him. For awhile she tried to slide back in with her old crowd, but they wouldn't have it. With one final push from the bitch Kira had become, and maybe always been, and she fell off the social ladder altogether, she should have known, she was too different from before.

* * *

Senior year, spring

* * *

As he was about to head out to do what he did almost every Friday night, get a little drunk and find some girl he doesn't know so that when he sneaks out the next morning he doesn't feel bad about it. But when he opened the door, sliding his beanie on his head, she was just there, standing outside his door. She had the ability to take what would have been awkward and make it normal. She smiled sweetly at him, but it still wasn't his smile, it was just one she used when she was genuinely happy and right now that's as good as he's gonna get and he's not about to question her because she's Millie.

"Hey, so here's the deal." She looked as if she's about to launch into some big story but then stopped and looked down for slightest moment and he could see her change gears. When she looked up he swore they were fifteen again because the girl in front of him was his Millie and no one else's. "Are you busy tonight?" He shook his head, a smile forming on his lips. "Good," She said happily. "Because you didn't have much of a choice anyway."

She took his arm that way she always used to before they'd just started holding hands and it felt foreign to have her hand anywhere but laced through his but he was willing to take what he could get because she was Millie. As soon as they were outside the building she started talking, telling him everything she probably originally planned to say at his door when she was just looking for anyone instead of him.

"So lately my grandma, you know the one you lives in Florida?" She didn't wait for a response and he was glad because he didn't know she had a grandma, let alone a Floridian retiree, but isn't that where all old people go when they get too worn out to live where they used to? "Well we're all pretty sure she's gone completely wacko. See, she's started sending me all this stuff." She held out the bad she was carrying.

"And I haven't known what to do with it so I just kept it all, thinking I'd give them as joke presents one day or something, but then today happened and I decided it was time to clean out the 'My crazy grandma loves me' box."

Reid wasn't sure what had happened that day, he hadn't really been paying attention too much of anything lately, especially gossip, it was all too much effort when she didn't want him, but now she was here, holding his arm and pulling him toward her car which had changed from the BMW she used to have sophomore year to a eco-friendly hybrid of some sort. She was so different from the girl she had been a few years ago and so much more like the Millie from freshman year, the Millie he remembered, the one he'd fallen in love with.

She deposited him at the passenger side door before climbing in on the other side and slipping the bag into the backseat. He didn't know what was in it, but she had sparked his curiosity and he wasn't going anywhere that didn't involve her for as long as he could. He was starting to feel a little less numb, but instead of raw and hurt, he felt alive and it was a feeling he missed more than he'd known.

When the soothing motion of her small car stopped, they were surrounded by a place that took up a permanent residence in his mind. Their park, the site of their first, awkward, somewhat sloppy kiss that had started everything. She smiled at him, her old mischievousness returning to her eyes, as she stepped out of the car, taking the bag with her. They sat at the base of a tree he remembered too well from a night too much like this one with that same full moon casting light all around them and making Millie's skin glow in that same way it had that night in freshman year.

"Fun fact:" She broke the silence. "When rich people get old and crazy, they buy their grandchildren really ridiculous, but surprisingly illegal things." She stuck her hand in the bag and brought it back with a bottle of wine attached. "Exhibit A, Boone's Farm Strawberry Hill wine, which happens to be what we drank when we got drunk for the first time. Remember Garwin?"

"Vividly." He laughed, running a hand over his beanie. "You never forget you're first hangover, especially if it's Strawberry Hill. There's not much like puking up pink all day." He took the bottle from her. "You're grandmother seriously sent this to you?"

"It gets better." Her hand again disappeared, this time producing a box of cheap cigars and a bunch of tiny bottles of various liquors.

"Wow." He laughed at the spread and then at Millie and her crazy grandmother.

"There was one other thing but I didn't bring it with me." He raised an eyebrow at her in question of the mystery item. "A rather large bag of marijuana." She said hesitantly.

"Weed? You're grandma sent you weed?" Reid had been sitting with his elbows on his upright knees, but then he fell back in laughter.

"Stop laughing." Millie told him but she was also doubled over, shoulders shaking with the hilarity. Finally Reid sat up, wiping the palm of his gloved hand against his face.

"So," He blurted out, tone oddly serious. "Why didn't you bring it too?"

"Because I remember what happens to Reid Garwin when he gets high and its one thing I don't need to see again." She told him with a smirk as she dug a package of plastic cups and a wine bottle opener from the bag. She opened the Strawberry Hill and poured them each a glass of the world's most disgusting beverage.

"That was one time." He took a gulp from the cup and grimaced. "Plus it was the first time I'd ever gotten high, after that I was… more mellow less…Brittany Spears." She laughed at him remembering the party where'd they'd shared their first joint and Reid had taken it upon himself to entertain everyone by dancing on a table to 'Oops I Did It Again" and breaking a three thousand dollar vase in the process.

They drank for a while in silence before Millie broke out the cigars and lit them each one. They were awful, like the wine, but it only made things funnier.

"God, we were a parents nightmare growing up." He said through a cloud of smoke. She smiled at him, still not his, but getting closer.

"Still are." He nodded at this while he took another pull from the cigar. She smiled at a notion as she realized it. "You know, my mom sent me back to Ipswich as a punishment for my _rebellious ways_. You believe that one?" She rolled her eyes dramatically.

"My dad made me take swim lessons when I was ten because I got in trouble at school too much. I don't think it really worked out like he planned, I guess he thought I'd hate it or something." Reid laughed at the memory, finishing off his cup and pouring more for both of them.

"Unfortunately you became a State Champ instead, too bad." She said sarcastically. It was only quiet for a moment before she had her mouth moving again. "You wanna get drunk?" She bit her plump bottom lip in question, running a hand through her glossy hair and messing it up.

"Yep." Reid answered instantly. Millie emptied the rest of the bottle into their cups, half filling them before pouring one of the tiny Vodkas in hers and handing him a miniature Tequila, remembering his drink of choice.

"To," She paused, thinking, holding out her cup to toast. "Crazy grandmothers, the most clueless, ridiculous, completely insane parents in the world, and our will to never be like them." She smiled, satisfied.

"Amen." He cheered and drank the horrid concoction, knowing the next morning, day for that matter, was going to suck, but it had been too long since they had gotten drunk together under their tree. He missed her more than he'd ever thought possible and she was sitting right next to him.

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	7. Chapter 6

**Author's note: In exchange for my complete lack of updating skills, I present you with a very long chapter and the hope that there will be one for "Invincible" soon. I keep trying to work on it but other things keep getting in the way. It's highly frustrating. If you read "Invincible" and have an idea or would like to offer me some much needed help, please PM me! You will be rewarded with a sample from your choice of the many stories I have in the works but not posted.**

**Enjoy!**

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Chapter 6

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Age 14, summer

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"_We're only fourteen." _

_She was breathless and scared and frozen on that place on his bed. He took his hands from where they had been at her hips and put one on each side of her head so that his weight wasn't resting on her. His bare chest moved quickly as he tried to regulate his breathing. His pants were swung low on his hips, the way she liked, so that the top of his boxers peaked out from underneath. Her white oxford shirt was unbuttoned and left open, revealing her boring tan bra. Why didn't she wear sexier underwear? Of course she was only fourteen, which had never seemed so young before, and, truthfully, hadn't ever thought she would be where she was at that exact moment any time before her eighteenth birthday, or maybe even her wedding day. _

_Reid finally spoke his voice shaking slightly and she wondered if he was scared too. "Mills, if you wanna stop…" His voice trailed off and she knew that he wasn't going to push her farther than she wanted to go, which was a comfort but gave her strange feeling in her heart that maybe something this special should wait. But they had been fooling around a lot lately, and ever since that night at the park… maybe it would be best to get that virginity thing out of the way. And who better than with her best friend?_

_She reached up and ran her fingers through his soft blond hair and let her hand linger on his cheek before pulling his lips down on hers again. Maybe they were only fourteen and maybe this was really stupid, but sometimes he would look at her in just this certain way and the world would kind of become a little brighter and the earth might kind of stop spinning sometimes when he smiled. She knew she was way too young to call it love but there really wasn't another name for how she felt about Reid Garwin. When he would kiss her, so softly, so wonderfully, she knew that he might feel the same way._

* * *

Senior year

* * *

Since the night in the park, things were different. Much to the worry and dismay of the other Sons, Millie and Reid were again attached at the hip. She joined their lunch table and went with the to Nicky's and to parties. Reid seemed to be the happiest he'd been in a long while, but Tyler couldn't help but worry. What if she upped and left like she had before? Could Reid's heart take being shattered again?

Caleb's worries centered around school, since Reid was hanging out with Millie again he had begun skipping class and not doing assignments more than before. He would simply not show up for school or swim practice with no explanation. The good side was that he was Using less, something that was essential with his coming Ascension.

Millie sank into her seat next to Reid at lunch, flipping her long brown hair over her shoulder. Her uniform was crisp, her long, thin legs ending in a pair of old converse tennis shoes.

"Hey," Reid greeted her, she didn't answer. She lifted her chipped black fingernail polished hand to her mouth and began biting the nail of her ring finger. It was a bad habit she'd picked up in California.

"I'm skipping the rest of the day, my brother lives in the city and is throwing this huge blowout at his loft. I'm gonna get there a few hours early, help his set up and stuff. Wanna come with?" She said it like she was describing the weather, her tone bored. Reid pulled out his pack of cigarettes and lit one even though smoking wasn't allowed on campus.

"Yeah, just let me go change." Reid replied, beginning to loosen his tie. He stood and threw away his untouched food. He'd been eating less lately, but his friends weren't sure if that had anything to do with Millie or with Reid just not being hungry. He took slow, lazy drags from his cigarette, ignoring how Sarah crinkled her nose at the smell of the smoke.

"Cool, anyone else up for a party?" Millie asked. Reid lingered at her shoulder, waiting for her to stand so they could go back to the dorms together.

"It's a school night." Caleb said, as if this made a difference, which it didn't.

Reid's eyebrows came together. "It's Friday," He told Caleb simply, as if the thought hadn't registered for the older boy. Another drag, this one deep but quick.

"No," Tyler piped up, his gaze on Reid was careful. "It's Monday." He corrected.

"Whatever," Reid muttered, rubbing his hands over his face. He threw down the cancer stick and crushed it with his foot.

"See you guys later." Millie told them, rolling her eyes. She stood and grabbed hold of Reid's arm, pulling him away.

* * *

Reid changed quickly, feeling strange stripping down in front of Millie, who had followed him to his room, saying her dress for the party was at her brother's and she would change later. His hands were shaking, he shouldn't feel like this. He needed to snap out of it, he cracked his neck and crossed the dorm to the attached half bathroom.

His reflection startled him, when had he started looking so shitty? Tyler had said that morning that Reid looked as if he hadn't slept in months. That had been after Reid stumbled in to the room at six-thirty and left only seconds later, going to the showers to scrub off the weekend. He was currently running on a straight 36 hours of no sleep, but he wasn't tired, not really. He splashed cold water on his face and fisted his hands tightly when they began to shake.

"Hey," Millie opened the bathroom door without knocking. She took in the sight of him, lips pursed. "Chill." She ordered, taking hold of his arm and guiding him to sit on his bed. She opened her purse and pulled out an eyeliner pencil.

"Look up," she ordered Reid and he complied as she applied the black make up to Reid's red rims. "Usually I'm kind of apposed to guy-liner, but you look like shit and I need someone I can show off." She finished and then sat back, surveying his clothes, a hoodie with the sleeves pulled up to show off his tattoos and a pair of faded and ripped pair of jeans. The pants could stay, she decided, noticing how that were tight in all the right places without it looking like he was wearing girl jeans.

"You need different clothes." She informed him, standing and beginning to search through his closet. She sighed with frustration as she found not much beyond jeans, t-shirts, sweatshirts, and his school uniform. Then, in the very back, she found it. The jacket was made of worn brown leather, made soft from years of use. She'd never seen it before.

"Reid," She said, pulling the jacket off the hanger and turning toward him. He'd laid back on his bed, eyes wide open but looking sick and tired. If she had been a less selfish girl, she might have worried about him, but she wrote off his behavior as the effects of the weekend-long party they'd attended. "Take you clothes off." She ordered and he sat up, looking at her confused. "Just your shirt." She amended then held up the jacket. "Why don't you ever wear this? It's gorgeous."

He followed her orders and took off the hoodie and then the plain white long-sleeve shirt he'd had underneath. "It was my dad's. I don't wear it." He said blankly as he rose lankily from the bed. He went into the bathroom again. Leaning his bare, tattooed shoulder against the doorframe he smiled a little.

"But my dad did use to say it was invincible, so I guess one party won't kill it. Find me a shirt." He told her and closed the door.

After turning the lock, he let his knees collapse under him, as they'd been wanting to do all day, and slid to the floor, leaning his back against the door and pulling his knees to his chest. He knew Tyler was going to notice soon, it turned out to be a little more obvious than he'd expected. But he knew he felt this bad because of stopping the meds too quickly, not the lack of them. He was still standing by the decision he'd made two weeks ago when he'd flushed the pills, he didn't need them, he was past that. He'd been stupid kid then, only sixteen. He shook his head, this not the time to be thinking about this.

He opened the cabinet beneath the sink and reached into the way back until he found the bottle of vodka he kept there. Tyler didn't know about this either, suddenly it seemed as though he was hiding more from his best friend than he was telling him. Reid took two long sips from the bottle, wincing as the alcohol scorched his throat. He put the bottle away and opened the door, taking the t-shirt Millie handed him.

"It's Tyler's." She informed him as he slipped it over his head, dark blue with paint splatters on it, he'd never seen the younger boy wear it, although he didn't pay much attention. She slid the jacket onto his shoulders, it was soft and Reid's breath caught in his throat. It was a perfect fit, his father's custom made leather jacket, his most prized possession, fit Reid even thought he was built nothing like his old man, who had been tall but somewhat stocky, all muscle. Reid got all his angles and sharp bones from his mother.

"Ready?" Millie asked, becoming impatient as she watched him adjust the beautiful jacket in the mirror over his desk.

"Yeah," His voice was rough, she worried for a moment that he was getting emotional , but one look at his face told her different.

"Come on, if we help set up we don't have to stay late to clean." She pulled at his arm and he followed her to her car like the obedient little boy he was.

They got to Millie's brother's place around seven, the party would start at nine. Nathan Townsend looked a lot like his baby sister, with dark hair and eyes and smile anyone would fall for. He shook Reid's hand hard and slapped him on the shoulder with a "Good to see ya, kid." Before going to help a few of his friends lug in the kegs. A few people were milling around, most of them already dressed in party where, Reid was relieved to see that he was far from the only guy with eyeliner.

People started showing up at eight, the music went on at eight-thirty and by nine things were in full swing. Reid swallowed the rest of his third beer in one gulp so that he could leave the conversation he was in to get another. This was unlike any party he'd been to, even the three-day long bash he'd been to that weekend in Boston, it was wild, really wild. Half the girls were walking around in only their underwear and bra, others were wearing so little that it was hard to tell if they'd arrived with pants and lost them or if they thought the "dress" they were wearing actually covered their ass. Reid couldn't really say he minded. People were making out everywhere, some went even further.

Millie's dress was short, but luckily covered everything, or Reid feared he may have had a problem sitting next to her, dancing with her, talking to her, looking at her, being in the same room for that matter, with out having to touch her in ways that would earn him a solid slap from her. He was a little buzzed and the awful feeling from before were gone, although they continued to lurk in the back of his mind, waiting for a moment of weakness.

"Hey, you wanna dance?" One of the girl was a shirt of a dress asked him. Her underwear were showing, purple thong, nice. He smirked, why not? They danced to three songs before Millie found him and pulled him away. They grabbed a spot on the couch, she had a two beers in her hands and gave one to him. He took out his pack and put a cigarette in his mouth offering her one before digging in his pocket for his lighter.

"You can kill yourself with those y'know." She told him blankly, taking a sip from the bottle, Reid copied her before taking another drag.

"Oh really?" He questioned. "I guess that will make me different than every other person on the planet. I'm gonna die, who would've thought." He snipped jokingly, earning him an elbow to the ribs.

"I'm just looking out for you, asshole. Maybe you should be grateful you even have me." She smiled, giggling and he bumped his shoulder against hers, they laughed and she lent him put his arm around her. The night wore on, they drank some more, she left him at eleven to go talk to some people he didn't know, telling him to "stay put and hold our seats". He sank down in his seat, leaning back into the cushions. His body was tired and all the drinking he'd been doing lately was far from what you'd call healthy. Most people would say it was impossible to fall asleep in a crowded room with Music shaking the walls. Obviously none of these people had gone as long as he had without sleep.

* * *

Sophomore year, age sixteen, winter

* * *

_Reid didn't think about it. Well, no, that's a lie, he thought about it a lot. All the time in fact. But that night, when he was walking home since Nicky took his keys in exchange for one, only one, beer, and enough money for the pay phone so he could call someone to pick him up, after he faked the call and told Nicky Caleb was coming, since he was the only other person he knew with a car, he didn't think about killing himself. _

_He was scuffing his feet in the dirt as he walked, head down, hands deep in his pockets. He was stalling, he and Tyler'd had a fight, which had prompted the late and lonely trip to Nicky's, and facing his best friend wasn't at the top of his list at the moment. It was a little known fact that Tyler had a worse temper than Reid, he was just better at controlling it, but when Baby Boy finally did blow his top you needed to leave him alone for a god few days before he was even ready to look at you._

_There was a dead cat in the road, or at least it kind of looked as if it had once been a cat. Now it was just the remains of fur and blood and organs spread across the road. As he past he thought about that animals final moments. Had it seen the car and been frozen in the headlights, or had it never seen death coming? Had it hurt or had the little cat died upon impact and never knew that it would end up as distorted road kill, hardly recognizable and only the disgusting corpse of what it once had been? Had it been a stray or someone's loved pet? Was there some poor little girl posting "Missing Cat" fliers around town, or had the animal passed from the world unnoticed and unmissed?_

_That was when he saw the headlights on the long, dark, deserted road, a car going too fast to stop. He didn't think of himself spread across the road as a gnarled and ugly corpse, he didn't think of his brothers or weather or not he would be missed. He just jumped, open eyes watching death hit him straight in the chest._

_A week later he was sent home with a prescription for pain that gave him enough for ten days, and one for anti-depressants that he would take indefinitely._

* * *

Senior year

* * *

The beep sounded and Tyler began recording a message of Reid's voice mail.

"Hey man, I'm dropping by the drug store later and wanted to see if you wanted me to grab your meds… so give me a call, I'm probably gonna wait till after practice to go so… yeah, hope the party was good, talk to you later." Tyler snapped his phone shut and stuffed it back in the pocket of his uniform pants. He'd reached his locker by now and began switching out the books from his bag.

That morning, around the same time he noticed that he was out of toothpaste and a run into town would be necessary, he saw the lack of the orange prescription bottle that had sat on the second shelf, all the way to the left, since sophomore year.

He tried not to let himself think about that night, and the week that had followed, when Reid's "accident" turned out to be a suicide attempt and when "falling into the road" was actually hoping to be killed. The week he found out that he'd missed all the classic signs and that his best friend was far from okay, even though physically he'd make a full recovery.

Tyler ran a hand through his hair as the first bell rang and people slowly began to walk to class, most clutching onto coffee cups for dear life. He met Pogue on the way to class, who somehow always made their strict uniform look comfortable and breezy, something Pogue's laidback personality added to everything.

"Reid didn't come back last night?" Pogue asked as they entered the classroom, Reid-less.

Tyler shook his head. "Didn't except him to, really. He was gone the whole weekend with Millie, who knows how long they'll be gone this time." The two boys took their seats, pulling out their homework from the night before. They tried to not worry, they knew Reid could take care of himself, but letting Millie play with Reid and trusting her to not break his heart was like trusting a boa constrictor to wrap itself around you and not squeeze until you die. They'd learned from experience that the only thing Millie played with was her food.

* * *

Reid woke up facedown on the wooden floor that felt sticky underneath him. He was shirtless, he realized, but he didn't remember anything after falling asleep on the couch. He rolled over, finding he was sore all over, and then slowly climbed to his feet. What the hell had happened last night?

There were other party-goers littered around the room, most as half dressed as he was, a few completely naked. His head spun and he stumbled, he was still drunk. Much more drunk than he'd been at eleven when he'd fallen asleep. He stepped over two unconscious, shirtless girls that were tightly embraced and headed toward the kitchen that he hoped would be less crowded, more clothed, and maybe provide some answers.

His hopes were dashed when he found two completely nude guys draped over the table and another happy couple looking as if they'd fallen unconscious or asleep mid-sex, the girl straddling the boy in a chair.

"Garwin, welcome back to the land of the living." Nathan came into the room looking a little hung-over, but thankfully wear both a shirt and pants. "Millie's up on the roof if you wanna join her." He crossed the kitchen and started making some coffee. "I'm gonna have to make sure Mills brings you to more of my parties man, you're a good time."

Reid's head was still a little foggy, taking in his surroundings and Nathan's words slowly. He moved across the floor on bare feet and narrowly avoided major injury as Nathan grabbed his shoulder to stop him from stepping on a broken beer bottle. He crossed back through he living room to get to the door and found Tyler's shirt, ripped straight down the front, his father's jacket was nowhere in sight. He thought he found his shoes, but a guy he didn't know, clad only in a pair of tighty-whitey underwear and sprawled across part of the couch, had them on his hands and Reid thought that it might be best to let the guy keep them for now.

The air was thick and humid and the cloud cover low, casting a fog over the city. He found Millie at the edge, letting her long legs dangle over the side of the fifteen story building. She was wearing guy jeans, her Spenser uniform shirt, and, he was relieved to see, his father's jacket. He took a seat next to her, she'd tied the uniform tie around her hair as a head band, it sat behind her wispy bangs and was tied under her hair, the tail resting across her shoulder. On her feet were her Chucks and dangling between her fingers, which were clad in his cut off gloves, were one of his Marlboros, the pack rested against her leg.

"Well aren't we a little hypocrite." He told her, taking one out of the pack for himself.

She laughed airily. "We aren't anything." She took a pull from the white stick as he cupped his from the wind, trying to light it. "I grabbed all my shit, so we can leave whenever. I couldn't find your shoes and Ty's shirt was ruined so I left it. But I grabbed you one of Nate's." She pulled out a black t-shirt from the woven bag that sat next to her and handed it to him. "Nice shiner." She commented, reaching up one hand to touch the blue and purple bruise under his eye that he didn't remember getting.

"What happened last night?" He asked, staring out at the barley visible skyline. Millie smirked at him, tossing her cigarette over the edge to the sidewalk below.

* * *

Sophomore year, age sixteen, winter

* * *

_Tyler thought about pacing, something to get his legs moving, help the fear and nerves that were racing through his body, but when he stood his legs felt like jelly, so he sank back into the hard plastic chair of the waiting room. Pogue, in plaid pajama pants and his leather jacket, had found the strength to pace, his long legs crossing the floor in three strides before he ran out of room and had to turn around to go the other way. Pogue was usually laidback but when he got upset, he was a lion in a cage, a volcano ready to go off at an second. Caleb was filling out the paper work since Reid's mother had yet to make an appearance, with the help of Pogue's dad and Tyler's mom. Tyler's dad was gone on business but was expecting updates as soon as they reached his wife._

_Maybe the strangest thing in the room were their two fellow Spenser attendees, Brody and Ryan, Aaron's friends, they were the ones that had hit Reid. The boys had given their statements to the police at the sight of the accident but they'd still followed the ambulance to the hospital, and now waited, on the other end of the room, fighting guilt, and awaiting answers to Reid's condition. _

_At long last, two men appeared in the waiting room, one wore scrubs while the other was in street clothes, both faces had serious but not grim expressions. _

"_Are Reid Garwin's parents here?" The doctor in scrubs asked, glancing around the group. The parents stood, Wayne extended his hand to the two men. _

"_His mother's on her way, she was out of town. Wayne Parry." They shook hands and Beatrice stepped forward, extending her hand as well._

"_I'm Beatrice Simms, I'm Reid's godmother." Beatrice was a small woman with delicate features. She tightly clutched a tissue in one hand. "Is he okay?"_

"_I'm Dr. Belle, Emergency Ward Director," The man in scrubs said. "And this is Dr. Hayes, Director of Mental Health Services."_

"_Mental Health?" Pogue asked, stepping up to the conversation where Caleb and Tyler were already standing. "He got hit by a truck, he's not crazy."_

_Dr. Hayes spoke for the first time, his voice carried a relaxed English accent. "Reid will make a full recovery, but we believe that Reid's accident was attempt at suicide." He told them grimly._

_Reid was awake when they finally got to see him, it was nearly two in the morning by the time he was moved into a room from the Emergency floor. Ryan and Brody, when the Sons had crossed the room to talk to them, had said he hadn't lost consciousness when he got hit, but passed out from pain before the ambulance got there._

_A few cracked ribs, a broken arm, ten stitches to the side of his face, a broken nose, and large, deep bruises that would make moving painful, nothing too serious. Reid wasn't the best at thinking things through, making sure it would work before, quite literally, jumping into them. For once Caleb was very glad the blonde was so impulsive that even a try at taking his own life wasn't planned or reasoned before being set into action. If he had been, Reid would be dead. _

_They had him pumped up on morphine, making his eyes heavy-lidded and his words, the few he spoke, slurred. Caleb pulled a chair close to his brother's bed as Tyler had already done and Pogue was in the process of stealing a chair from another room. Meredith hadn't stayed long and the few moments she'd spent with her son were clearly just for looks as neither of them wanted her there. _

"_Hey," Tyler said softy, reaching out a hand to touch Reid's arm on a place that looked safe enough, but the blonde still jerked away slightly. Caleb tried to think of something to say but came up with nada. Pogue came back in the room, pulled the chair up next to Caleb's and sat down heavily._

"_What the hell were you thinking?" He asked bluntly. Good job, Pogue, what would we do with out you?_

_Reid shrugged, "Cat." He murmured and the three other boys exchanged a confused glance._

"_What?" Caleb ventured to ask._

_Reid sighed, shifting down in the bed and closing his eyes. "I was thinking about that damn cat."_

* * *

**Again, if you can/want to help me with "Invincible" or have any idea for any of my stories for that matter, please, please, PM me! Thanks :)**

**Reviews are the bomb-diggity! **


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